Just maybe (Post Op Day 4)

So last night was the first time since last Wed when I went in for surgery that I felt the least bit of pain relief.  I took the full dose of pain pills (2 pills)  plus I put an ice pack on my back incision and another ice pack on my stomach incision.  Between the two I was actually able to get some relief and was able to bring the pain level down to something tolerable where I could actually focus on something else.  Unfortunately it was night time so all I really had planned to do was sleep.  But it felt nice to get some relief.  

Ice, ice, ice.  That is my best friend right now.  I would barely be able to handle the pain without it!  So thankful for ice packs!

Last night shortly before the pain relief episode, I had a bit of a panic episode, where my brain started running away with the idea of what if this surgery doesn't work.  What if I stay in constant pain? Or what if my screws cause me issues? I'm stuck if that happens and the only option would be to do surgery again.  Right now I'm traumatized by those first 4 days of post surgery.  I don't say that to scare anyone who is faced with with going through it.  You can get through it,  but there is no way I want to ever have to go through that again! Once is enough. Honestly I think the scariest part for me is I don't know what will happen. I know I should remain calm and trust that it is out of my hands and all will work out. But I guess that's where my control freak part comes in. I don't like not being in control of myself or my future. And right now I am in control of nothing! 

This morning two great things happened. A very sweet neighbor brought my family donuts for breakfast  the kids loved it,  and I'll admit I have a weakness for donuts from time to time too. 

The other awesome thing that happened was my hip kit arrived from Amazon! It has a reacher pole,  a shoe horn, sock aid, bath sponge stick and dressing stick.  I'm most excited about the reacher!  I'm been so useless when it comes story picking up something below my reach since I can't vend over! If I drop something,  I don't have to call my family to come help me.  I hate asking for help!  So yes this is a great day! I can reduce the amount of help I have to call on.  

In other news our sweet Bella kitty is still mad at me and is mystified as to why I won't let her come walk or lay on my belly.  She stalked away from me in  a huff this morning and went to lay my hubby.  Lol.