3 weeks post op - Today is a rough day.

One step forward two steps back it seems sometimes....  I know I'm strong enough to get through this but then other times the road ahead seems so incredibly long and hard.  I wonder when am I ever going to feel myself again.  And all I wanna do is cry... Not sure if it's the pain or hormones but today I'm a mess.  I just wanna be me again.  I just wanna ride my bike again,  enjoy the warm weather in the pool,  exercise with my dear friends,  go on date nights with my husband,  go places with my kids...  I'm so incredibly tired of pain and hurting...

I just have to keep telling myself 👇 

Hot Days of Summer (Day 11 Post Op)

Whew, one more day down.  And one more day closer to not having to wear this brace. I will be so thankful when it comes off for good. But I guess there is no point in thinking about it too much cause I still have a ways to go. 

Today though,  I did get  a brief break from the brace while laying out at a friend's pool while the family had a nice swim... Enjoying the holiday weekend.  

Things have been going steadily with the healing.  I've been able to slowly taper down my pain pills.  So just on one pain pill a day now plus 3x a day I take 2 tylonal.  Can't wait to get off it all! 

Just  a few more days till my post op Dr appt!  Yay! Very curious to get  some questions answered and see how he thinks I'm healing.

In other news.  My husband ripped his bicep in his arm while moving some furnature, so now he has to have surgery too in just a few days. :( We are going to be a funny sight when we are out together. Lol. 

This is some cool stuff right here....! (Day 8 Post Op)

Howdy folks, another day post surgery, and another day closer to being normal again. I try not to think too much about how dreadfully far I still have to go to get back to normal otherwise I'm washed over with a wave of discouragement and I can't let myself live there. So I try to focus on counting each day that goes by.

So there is this really cool thing that came with my hip kit that I order off of Amazon (click to see item) that I told ya'll about the other day, but I wanted to show you my second favorite tool in there (the first being the grabber/reacher). 

       

 So here is my second favorite tool, the sock assist tool. Do you know how incredibly impossible it is to put your sock on when you can't bend or twist? Trust me it is. Well this great little doodad is amazaballs! 

Pretty nifty huh!?? 

(if the gif doesn't play, click on the image) 

Last of all for today (cause hubby has pizza coming and I am actually hungry), did I mention ya'll how much weight you can gain in the hospital, even when your barely eating anything!?? I gained 13 pounds while staying two nights in the hospital. Can someone say IV overdose!? Whew, I wasn't prepared for that. If I had know I would have brought some looser fitting clothes to wear home (which I should have anyway), I did get the comfortable, just not so loose. Ah well, if you have over night surgery stays planned, be prepared for all the possible water weight! 

On the bright side, I have lost all but 1.5 lbs of the weight I gained while there, so I will call that a win.

Ok folks, well I am off to enjoy some delicious pizza and Cheesecake Factory cheesecake (yeah not so wholesome, but I did that for breakfast and lunch today). Hope you all enjoy your 4th of July weekend!!

YAY! (Post Op Day 7, I made it to week ONE!)

Yay! I finally made it to week one!  I am actually feeling pretty normal again, except always needing help out of the chair, tying my shoes,  sore and tight abdominal/lower back region. I still feel like an invalid but each day gets a little easier.

So since was feeling so good I decided to venture out and get  get my nails done. I've been having some pretty bad cabin fever and I was really feeling a need to GET OUT!  It was my first time to drive post surgery (I highly advise talking to your Dr before driving post op!!), but all went well and I only went a couple miles down the road.

So this evening I decided to get out of the house again for a change to see some other human friends. Let me tell you, being coop up in a house 24 hrs a day, uncomfortable and with very limited mobility can really get to playing games with your head. SO it felt so so good to get out and see some friendly faces, and get back to a place full of people that mean so much to me. It really did my psyche good!! 

Let me clarify, I may look all 100% back, but I am not quite there by a long shot. I still get uncomfortable (something that builds by the minute) if I walk or stand or sit for more than 10-15 at a time. My bed and my recliner are my favorite places. But I try to limit them as I know that walking is important. I try to be up and mobile as close to half the day as possible but my days have gone from 16 hrs days to 12 hr days. 

Venturing out... (Post Op Day 6)

Well today is Day 6 Post op (And first day to wear makeup. :) ). I decided to venture out with my hubby to his orthopedic appt. Somehow he has ripped his bicep tendon and is going to need surgery next week. This is getting down right comical.  Over all the trip out went great although I did deal with some nausea, which I think may have been from my pain pills.

In other news. Something people may not talk about much with back surgery is constipation. Please let me urge you, if you are going to be having spinal surgery or any surgery involving anesthesia and strong pain pills (& in my case them moving my intestinal sac over to the side to reach my spine), please talk to your Dr about steps you can take in the days leading up to and the days after your surgery to help limit your discomfort and any possible traffic jams. ;-)  I assure you will be glad you did.

And last of all for today, my pain has significantly improved. Yay! I have been able to decrease my pain pills by half, so each dose instead of two pills I only take one, and I have completely stopped the muscle relaxers

A better day.... (Post Op Day 5)

Whew. Last night was another rough night. I guess there is something about the dark, barely being able to move on your own (although once I am up and walking I do pretty good), that brings in the dark thoughts. Of course me stumbling on a spine website with a forum I had never seen before the surgery was probably not helping me much. Some of the horror stories were pretty frightful! Just helped bring in all the panic I had experienced the night before (which I mentioned in my previous post).  I think I will wait a month or three before I go check out that site again.

Overall today is better than the other. Still soooo far from normal. Still hurts, so so cautious, but the pain is becoming a little less intense each day, so that is a huge relief. 

I still don't feel well enough to get out besides a sort walk down the street. Hubby was wanting to take the kids and I out to Braums, but honestly I don't think I can handle an hr out yet. Just not quite there yet. But it does feel like each day get's me a little closer.

Little Miss Bella seems quite happy with herself today for making it to sit on my shoulder since she is still not allowed on my stomach.

Oh! My bandages got changed for the first time today on day 5. Well most of the bandage. There is still a small bandage that still covers the incision itself so I can't see how big the scar is yet. 

Oh, and I got to have my second shower today. That felt really refreshing! Being one that likes my daily showers, taking one every other day has been weird. But honestly it takes alot of work to take a shower. But it's getting easier. :) 

This brace has to be worn ALL day, no matter what I am doing aside from when I am in bed or taking a shower,  It's not so fun but it's super important I don't bend or twist at all!  I didn't get a very good picture of it, I'll try to another time.

Looking forward to tomorrow and a little less pain, and a little more movement! 

I don't think I have ever been so in love with my husband as I am now while he so lovingly takes care of me at every little thing I need (and believe me it's a lot, I can't do for myself). He's such a great man! 

Just maybe (Post Op Day 4)

So last night was the first time since last Wed when I went in for surgery that I felt the least bit of pain relief.  I took the full dose of pain pills (2 pills)  plus I put an ice pack on my back incision and another ice pack on my stomach incision.  Between the two I was actually able to get some relief and was able to bring the pain level down to something tolerable where I could actually focus on something else.  Unfortunately it was night time so all I really had planned to do was sleep.  But it felt nice to get some relief.  

Ice, ice, ice.  That is my best friend right now.  I would barely be able to handle the pain without it!  So thankful for ice packs!

Last night shortly before the pain relief episode, I had a bit of a panic episode, where my brain started running away with the idea of what if this surgery doesn't work.  What if I stay in constant pain? Or what if my screws cause me issues? I'm stuck if that happens and the only option would be to do surgery again.  Right now I'm traumatized by those first 4 days of post surgery.  I don't say that to scare anyone who is faced with with going through it.  You can get through it,  but there is no way I want to ever have to go through that again! Once is enough. Honestly I think the scariest part for me is I don't know what will happen. I know I should remain calm and trust that it is out of my hands and all will work out. But I guess that's where my control freak part comes in. I don't like not being in control of myself or my future. And right now I am in control of nothing! 

This morning two great things happened. A very sweet neighbor brought my family donuts for breakfast  the kids loved it,  and I'll admit I have a weakness for donuts from time to time too. 

The other awesome thing that happened was my hip kit arrived from Amazon! It has a reacher pole,  a shoe horn, sock aid, bath sponge stick and dressing stick.  I'm most excited about the reacher!  I'm been so useless when it comes story picking up something below my reach since I can't vend over! If I drop something,  I don't have to call my family to come help me.  I hate asking for help!  So yes this is a great day! I can reduce the amount of help I have to call on.  

In other news our sweet Bella kitty is still mad at me and is mystified as to why I won't let her come walk or lay on my belly.  She stalked away from me in  a huff this morning and went to lay my hubby.  Lol.